It's interesting what you find when packing....

I found 28 Planet Lazer scorecards, ranging from mid-March 2004 to just a few weeks ago.

10 were 1st place
6 were 2nd place
4 were 3rd place
2 were 4th place
2 were 5th place
1 each for 6th, 8th, 9th and 10th place.


Assuming that I have cards for all the games I've played over the last year (which I don't, but never mind), I've won 36% of all games I've played.

Assuming each game lasts 20 mins (some of the actually lasted 15 mins, but only a few), I have spent 560 minutes playing games at Planet Lazer, or 9 hours 20 minutes. That's 0.086% of my life since last March, or 0.059% of my life since I started university.



Can you tell I'm trying to avoid packing? :p

My Exam Results

Module	Coursework	Exam	Total
CO501	77	56	60
CO104	86	53	60
CO505	90	50	58
CO508	68	37	53
CO515	66	41	46
CO516	96	80	83
EL563	64	28	33

This gives an average for the year of 55.75%
I'm very, very disappointed with myself

Today

Oh yes, today.


Today has really rather sucked. Work at folkstone was pretty rubbish went stuff all over the place just didn't work the way it should. Mike and I weren't equipped to deal with the stuff that came up, and seeing as I'm leaving on Saturday, this was my last day and I've left Mike with loads to do, and feel guilty about that. Both of us got really rather stressed about the machines just *not* doing what we wanted, so blah.


Also found out that I failed my second year today, which wasn't all that good. What this means about me going to the US, I dunno.... gonna cost a fair bit to retake in the states, and Sun may not even take me if I've failed, retake of no retakes. So, meh about that.

I've a million and one things to do before saturday when I move out for the house (sorting our bills, etc), got to sort out kitc stuff, uni stuff, I have to pack my room up.... s'all getting rather much. So meh.


Meh, meh, meh. Today has not been a good day at all.

Still, just spent the evening with Jo, having curry and drinks and disscussing how the brain can communicate with flashing lights, and fun stuff like that *nods*. Not a bad ending to the day at all :) Ta Jo *hugs*



Tomorrow, I sort out my life.

Up until today.....

Last few days have been *excellent* Met up with Jo and Kim for Amigos on Thursday for lunch, before heading up to campus to sort stuffs out, then went Supernoodles and Dolphin in the evening. Went to DBS after that with my external HD and leeched many many files off Mike, and also saw Kim again.

Friday I went to campus again for kitc work, before wandering through town with Wendy and Mike, then going home.

Saturday was pretty cool, mooching about then going out for wagamamas (absolutely *gorgeous* food :9) followed by Westbar to celebrate Jo's birthday. Had a chat with Kim after that, as it was pretty much the last time I'd see her properly for a year. Kinda sad :(

Sunday was awesome, with a BBQ followed by Pie'n'custard in the evening. Awesome days, loads of people, much good food, and lots of Takeshi's Castle :D Thanks to everyone for making it so good. Though again, kinda sad seeing many people for the last time in a year.


So yeah. M'generally really, really happy. I've sorted stuff out in my head about Kim, and the last few days have shown that we can still be friends, and I'm really happy with that. Took me long enough to get here, but it's sorted, and it's good :) I'll still miss Kim a helluva lot, and my feelings for her aren't going anywhere, but I'm able to work with and around them, and not let them get in the way of our friendship. So yay.


All was good. Until today.....

We love tha MOOOOOOON!

Today has been a lazy day, involving much watchage of movies and channelhopping on sky (Simone is an excellent film, right up until the last 10 minutes. Grrrrr.), before meeting Wendy and Jo for Amigos around 6ish. Then went to 3km for a short while (via Sainsburies for drink), before going to the Dolphin with Wendy, Mike and Jen. Meady goodness!

Was a lovely full moon, and so climbed out onto my roof, and took photos of it. Here's one of the better ones. I couldn't get the ambience right at all (there was a lovely aura around the moon), but still quite a nice photo :)



Now, to bed, before getting up horribly early tomorrow for KITC work x(

Hoohum

So, my LJ has been really rather full of angst over the past two months. My apologies. However, I'm beginning to come out of my selfobsessed goff-like d00my state of mind, so yey. Took a while in coming, but I'm (really, this time) beginning to get over things. Many many many thanks go to a Mr David Harsent.



So yes. Busy week. Went to the funfair last weekend, and this last week has involved all sorts of fun stuff (which I can't remember), including an all-day Piglet's-Birthday fest on Friday (Subways-> Lazerquest (where I pwned all in the first game, then got pwned in the second) -> Swimming (much needed on such a hot day, especially after LQ) -> Nandos (much yimmy food) -> Dolphin (drink) -> Sainsburies and Piglets (much more drink)).

Yesterday involved going to the beach, which really rather rocked. Lazing in the sun was great, and the water was excellent. However, I managed to obtain a rather nasty burn across my shoulders. No so good, really :(


In other news, Sun have (finally) sorted everything out. Need to fill out more forms and send them back, then get an interview at the American Embassy, and everything should be fine. However, getting an interview before the end of July is gonna be a challenge, especially as I really need one before the end of June.

Am currently debating between watching Alias Season2, reading, or playing FF7.

Anyway.

Was TagLan over the weekend, and I think it was a big success. Was much more relaxed than the previous ones, with much less hardcore gaming, and much more socialising. Underlying crapness prevented me from enjoying it as much as I'd have liked, but was pretty fun all the same. I await Syn's stopmotion webcam movie of the whole weekend. Ate far too much junk food, as usual, and got some good games in; best bit was prolly the Doom Co-Op in the early hours of monday morning.

Spent almost all of Monday asleep, before meeting Chris, Wendy and ka for Subways. Went home and slept more.

Tuesday was spent sleeping too, in addition to finally sorting out the CCp website design. I am now officially a CSS master. So there. Am trying to finish off the CCP contracts asap so I can have some time off before I go and work for a year, but beaurocracy keeps getting in the way.

Wednesday was spent on campus getting further CCP stuff sorted before going to Woodies to celebrate Jen's 21st as well as the 3rd yrs getting their results. So, congrats to all of them, well done :) Got really rather drunk, and had a major downer as Kim/Alex turned up, but went outside straigfht away and tried to ignore it with drink, which I think I succeded in doing. There's not much that can be thought about when you're drunk, really. Had quite an amusing walk to and from Origins.
Went down to DBS in the afternoon/evening, where I unfortuately got further depressed... tried to ignore it, but couldn't so left by 11 and met up with a friend, Anna, and went back to her house and chatted until almost 2am, which was good.


Today has, like I've already said, not been the best of days. Managed to force myself out of the house to Supernoodles for 7.30 and after that to C4 for a while.. many thanks to Jen, David, Wendy, Chris, Matt and Becky for the company and helping cheer me up slightly.


And actually, thanks to *all* my friends who've been here for me over the past two months; all the support has been appreciated so much. Thanks.

The worst two months of my life....

The last two months of my life have been the worst of my life so far. Ever since I've turned 21, my emotional state has been rock bottom, with the exception of one or two days, and I've felt like utter crap most of the time, even if I appear normal and happy when I'm out.

And I've been out a hell of a lot. I've eaten out almost every single day of the past 2 months, and I've seen my friends so much more than I've ever seen them before. I have had some really good times with them, and if it wasn't for this underlying crap, I'd say that the past two months have been one of the best periods of my life. But they're not, because I can't deal with breaking up with Kim.


And today has quite possibly been the worst day in those two months. I had a talk with Kim early afternoon, and then just spent the afternoon lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling so utterly lost, alone, confused, desolate... I couldn't think straight about anything, and I felt physically ill. I'm having so much trouble getting to grips with this whole situation, it's untrue.

I wasn't expecting Kim to breakup with me at all, and I could expect to feel like this just after that, but 2 months on? I saw her yesterday for the first time in almost 2 weeks, and I almost broke down in tears. I try and hide it as much as possible, but I'm an utter emotional wreck at the moment.


I also feel that my inability to deal with Kim breaking up with me, and then Kim getting together with Alex, has made things so much worse between us than if I had been able to simple say ok, and deal with it and move on. I just don't understand why I find it so difficult to stop thinking about her, to stop thinking about her. I feel like I'm becoming obsessive with this whole thing, and my apparant inability to move on is worrying me.

But I love her, so what can I do? :(

In other news:

Got up early this morning, and went to Westgate spoons for breakfast with Wendy, Bunny and Bill. Ate two meals for £7.05. Was scrummy. Went to Syn's briefly before going home and playing guildwars. For 11 hours solid.

Which brings me to now. Woohoo.

Also during the day my new external 160Gb HD arrived, as did my new phone. Number is the same, but now I have a nice shiney Nokia 6670. Woohoo again.

Now I shall sleep, and spend all of tomorrow sleeping too in preparation for TagLan4 over the weekend.

Okay, okay....

So I lied at the end of my last post. I'm not feeling better about Kim at all. What I *am* doing, however, is being able to occupy myself better so i don't have to think about it as much, and being better at putting on a mask to the world so I can pretend that everything is getting better.

So muchos thanks go to Piggeh, Syn, ChrisDW, Wendy, ChrisAqualla, Bel, Bunny, Matt, Becky, and everyone else who has put up with me over the past few weeks. You guys rock.

Hopefully, one day soon, I'll be able to stop pretending it doesn't hurt.

Soooooo

What day is it today? It's Tuesday. Or, Wednesday, but not morning yet. Hmmm, updating whilst driunk is fun.

Anyway. Saturday evening, and the TagSoc end of year meal thing was good right up to the end when I got really rather depressed about Kim'n'Alex again. My own fault really, and I apologise to everyone for dragging things down. Had another talk/rant with/at Kim again, which made me really *really* shite afterwards. Stayed at 9SC with the rocksoccers for Dan's bday thingy instead of going to the playground with TagSoc, and ended up playing with lghtsabers. And going to a playground anyway, was muchos fun.


Sunday, as well as feeling really crap about having a go at Kim on Saturday, I mainly mooched and played Guildwars. And then my parents came up to visit, and I took them to the Dolphin. Ther food there is soooooo nice. Like, yummy. utterly. :9 m

Spent monday morning with parents, and afternoon/evening playing more GW. Was really good spending some time with my parents, hardly ever see them anymore. Was also a welcome break from the stress of life atm.

Today has been blooooody brilliant, what with sorting out a new phone and a removal 160Gb HD to be delivered tomorrow, sorting out paperwork for Sun, wandering through town with Chris, Lex and Bel, meeting a Jen, watching Mighty Ducks with John and Linus, meeting Bunny, playing 2 awesome games of LQ (both of which I won :D), going to The Seven Stars to hear Dan play muchos good music, running around canterbury trying to find someplace open that would sell alcohol, failing and heading to the pub right opposite my house with AquallaChris, DWChris, Piglet, Wendy and Bunny for muchos driunking, introducing Bunny and Wendy to Baileys and Malibu, then going to my house to try and watch True Lies but failing and having Futurama on in the background whilst an orgy involving garlic bread and massages and Jack Daniels and shotglasses ensued. So yes, muchos good day.

I'm also doign much better with regards to Kim now. Hopefully now left things on a slightly better note, and am gonna stay out of her way as much as possible. S'not gonna be easy for me, and I know there's a whole bundle of hurt coming my way, but she's happier now, and that's what matters. Still miss her like crazy. Still love her. but hey. If I can just stay out of her way, things'll be better for the both of us, methinks. Such a shame that things couldn't have turned out better, and I still catch myself wondering what I could have done to keep us together. But like I said, I think we both need some space away from each other; trying to stay friends was a nice idea, but not one that appeared to work at the moment. Her and Alex *will/does* hurt, but she's moved on and is happier, so that's good. yes.



Rawr, feeling much happier atm than I have done in a long time. T'is good.