Last three days....

Monday... hmmm, can't remember what I did on Monday. I think it involved lazing about at home, doing nothing much. Went around to Kim's in the evening, felt a bit meh still.

Tuesday was muchos fun though, made me feel alot better... Pizza Hut at 1400ish, lots of food there with cutter, pyro, dave, bigchris, Kim, Bel (who's b'day it was), wendy, mike, fudgeh, val and chris. Then most people left us, and me, Kim, wendy, mike, bel and pyro went swimming for a good few hours, which was excellent. Kim bel and I went back to DW's briefly, then ppl went to Bel's for a really good get together.

All in all a really good day... cheered me up alot :)



Woke up this morning feeling a bit tired, which slowly turned to feeling meh.
I then finished the Books of Magic graphic novel series, which has made me even more... moody/depressed/contemplative/meh/whatever else

I really dunno how I'm feeling at the moment, but it's not all that fun.
I just wish I had the power to do stuff, make stuff better for people. I wish I could see the world through clean eyes, not through clouded, mis-understanding, biased ones. I wish I understood things.
I get so annoyed with myself when I just sit down and do absolutely nothing all day, but I still don't do anything. I don't know what to do.
I guess it's maybe caused by suddenly stopping after being so active and doing so much after the last few months. All I want to do is pack a bag, and go back out, somewhere, anywhere... see stuff, do stuff. Forget what it's like to be responsible to anyone but yourself.

Fneh.

I'm feeling so damn polar right now. I want people around, to just be with them. Relaxing, doing nothing, in the sun, wherever, just idling the hours away. But at the same time, I don't, I want to be by myself, not wanting contact with people.

I almost deleted all this, because it doesn't say half of what I want to say, and it says entirely too much. But it stays, because some expression is better than none, even at the risk of misunderstanding.